I'll Have the One Thousand Pounder with Cheese and a Diet Coke Please

If you haven't had breakfast yet, the pic above and the story below should have you reconsidering that stack of flap jacks and pound of bacon. As a friendly suggestion, you may want to opt for some grapefruit this morning, porkopolis. Of course, if you have already enjoyed your delicious, maple slathered orgy of delight, no worries, the pic above and story below should be bringing it all back up....any second now.

Yes, it's true, bikini season is just around the corner and, in the groovy words of the shy Beatle, "it's been a long cold lonely winter" and, as a result,(it's as good an excuse as any), some of us may have in fact put on a few extra and unwanted pounds,(love that phrase btw, how often are pounds actually wanted?)

But take heart my bulging and bloated friends and sit that gargantuan cushion you call an ass down, put away the Girl Scout Cookies (I swear to God, those bratty little sugar pushing whores are EVERYWHERE these days!) and read the article below from yesterdays New York Post.

I promise it will make you feel a little better. If it doesn't, I have another suggestion for you, DUNKIN DONUTS!! (I, personally, have never had a problem that couldn't be solved with a box of those unholy Munchkins!)

http://www.nypost.com/p/news/local/nj_woman_attempting_to_become_world_pco3O4qPWiCg3yjEWaxx9N